Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
whose parrot is this?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
