Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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