Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this will be a night to untag.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
