there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
