Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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