Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize