my mouth tastes like poor choices
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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