toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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