Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
