please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
