tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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