You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
