He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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