I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
