My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
