I need help removing her.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
two words: eviction party
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
As shirtless as possible
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
