everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
