if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
