they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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