How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
