3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
