I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
