I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
