I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
