mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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