This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
