White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
