and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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