piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We are all done wearing pants today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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