my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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