Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
