I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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