well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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