yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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