This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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