i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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