We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
