if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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