I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
