Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
