i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
