I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am one with the molecules
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize