I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the day after is always just damage control
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
