Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
