I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
