eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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