Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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