Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
