Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize