Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize