the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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