I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
