But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
